Planting Seeds With Family Creeds
The Value of Creating a Family Creed
I don't know about you as a parent but being a dad was a bit of a struggle for me. I was a single dad to three kiddos for most of the last 14 years so that made it even more difficult. I'm not asking for sympathy. Lots of parents do the majority of the parenting without the other parent present. But for me and my own massive ADHD brain, I struggled with consistency and with juggling far more than what I should have taken on as a dad.
My kiddos were 3, 5 and 7 when we faced the tragedy that forced me into single parenthood. And back then the influences that were creeping into the average American household were becoming nearly unavoidable. By 2010, it had become pretty common for kids under the age of 10 to have smartphones. So unless I could find a way to homeschool my kids and move to the country, my kids were absolutely going to be exposed to things that were entirely outside of my control. I needed a consistent anchor for my family. More than just the faith I raised them with. That was good. But let's face it, memorizing scripture with my kiddos wasn't going to be a task that I added to our already busy lives. But why couldn't we memorize one family statement together that tied us together as a unique family team? I did. We called it our Langhofer Family Creed. Back in the early days it was simple. "We are a family. We are a team. We work together." That was it. We started with that. We called it our Langhofer Family Creed. It was simple, easy to remember and the kids and I said it often.
“Pass The Potatoes”
As a dad it became much like the old “Pass the Potatoes” strategy. Are you familiar with it? It’s a way of redirecting your children. Here’s an example. You’re at dinner with your family and one of your kids begins whining about something they do or do not want to do. The simplest response (if you can be consistent) is “well I’m sorry that’s the way you see it Isaac but I’ve already decided that you may not go outside after dinner and play again. Now would you please pass the potatoes?”
“Well guys, I know that going to Comicon sounds like a far more exciting way to spend our Saturday morning but I’ve got to get that back yard cleaned up before it rains. Now, what is our Family Creed again?”
It sounds so simple. And guess what. It is. I used Pass the Potatoes with our Family Creed more times than I could count raising my kiddos. I don’t necessarily understand the psychology behind it but it worked like a charm. For some reason, it united them in moments and all of the sudden “We are a Family. We are a team. We work together.” became their focus. They wanted to work together as a team. And guess what. We did it well.
Consistency is Key
Don’t create a Family Creed, share it with the kids once or twice and never use it again. Your Family Creed should be plastered on your walls, engraved on your keychains, imprinted on hats and t-shirts and shown as a logo on your facebook accounts. Your kids need to recall it as easily as they recall the newest quote from their newest Youtube influencer. They need to see everything through the lens of your Family Creed. Your Family Creed will become an anchor to your children….if you as the leader of your home embrace it and lead with it consistently.
What is Your Family Creed?
In my experience a Family Creed can take on many forms. It could be a Family Vision Statement, a Family Mission Statement, a statement of Family Core Values, a Family Code of Conduct or even a Family Constitution. It is some form of memorialized statement in your home that reminds your family just who your family is and what your family is all about. But more that it is something you lead with as a parent. It gives you as the leader of your home (the coach of your team) something simple and distinct to communicate that you are striving for together. Can you envision it? Is your mind reeling? Are you wondering where to begin? Family Handbook is a fantastic tool to begin thinking through and memorializing your Family Creed.
The Power of Parental Leadership
Parents are generally the first and most influential leaders their children will ever have. Even when parents aren't being intentional in their parenting, they are leading. Leadership within the family is not about control but about guidance, inspiration, and creating an environment where each family member can flourish. When parents step into their leadership roles with confidence and purpose, they:
Establish a strong sense of identity for their children
Create a home environment built on trust and respect
Provide a framework for decision-making and problem-solving
Model integrity, perseverance, and responsibility
Foster a culture where children feel safe to explore their potential
When parents lead with vision, they ensure that their children are not just surviving but thriving in all areas of life. Creating a unique Family Creed is the first step in casting a vision for your family. Even if it is just a tiny first step.
What is a Family Creed?
A family creed is a written declaration of a family's core values, mission, and vision. It serves as a compass that guides family members through life’s challenges and decisions. Just as a company’s mission statement unites its employees under a shared goal, a family creed unites parents and children under a shared purpose.
A well-crafted family creed includes:
Mission Statement – What does your family stand for? What is your purpose?
Core Values – What principles will guide your family’s actions and decisions?
Vision Statement – Where do you see your family in the future?
This document becomes a source of encouragement and accountability, ensuring that each family member understands their role and the values they are expected to uphold.
Planting Seeds for Future Generations
By establishing and living by a family creed, parents are planting seeds that will bear fruit for generations. Children raised in a home with a clearly defined vision and values grow up with:
A strong sense of belonging and identity
The ability to make wise, value-based decisions
A deep appreciation for faith, family, and personal integrity
The confidence to navigate life’s challenges with resilience
And these principles extend beyond childhood. When children witness their parents consistently leading with purpose, they are more likely to carry these values into their own future families.
How to Implement a Family Creed in Your Home
Gather as a Family – Discuss what values and principles matter most to your family.
Write It Down – Create a concise and memorable document that captures your family’s mission, values, and vision.
Display It – Place your family creed somewhere visible as a daily reminder.
Live It Out – Align family decisions, conversations, and traditions with your creed.
Review and Revise – As your family grows, revisit and refine your creed to reflect new seasons of life.
Conclusion
Parents who take on the role of intentional leadership in their homes shape their children’s futures in profound ways. By planting the seeds of wisdom, faith, and purpose through a well-defined family creed, they ensure that their legacy endures for generations. Families that lead with vision don’t just hope for a bright future—they actively build one together.
